You’re like a path that I’ve taken before. I know that it leads to a place that I don’t need to be.
To somewhere that I can’t bear, that deprives me of the air that I’ve gasped and fought so hard to breathe.
But yet, I’ve walked down this same road, time and time again, hoping that it’d bring me to a different end.
I say, no more. Not this time.
But the thought of you lingers like a bad smell that I can’t dispel.
It stays on my mind.
Although I move forward, I know that I am stuck.
Walking backwards, watching you.
Watching our past, as I continue to move
Further and further away.
Hopefully it’ll disappear into the distance; it’ll dissipate.
And I’ll finally be able to see this new man.
He’s been here with me, but you won’t leave.
And the pain is so chaotic.
It’s convinced me that love is toxic.
A near death sentence.
A menace that will only leave me diminished.
I wonder what can become of me when all of this is finished.
I tried to make the decision to turn around and move forward.
But that stubborn heart inside me —
She won’t listen…
We can learn to get ourselves out of such stagnation with deliberate practice. If you find yourself feeling like this, check out this guide that has helped me to gracefully comedown from relationships here.
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the mindful comedown.